By Daniel Fellows
Ukld the Unmann was not too bright even by Orcnar standards and often found himself separated from his tribe. One day he had gotten himself lost and was trying to find his way home when he was set upon by a tiny sickly yellow fellow…
“How dare you darken the sacred forests of Ridend? You have no hope of defeating me, puny scum! Bow down and beg for your life!”
Ukld strained intently to see the creature and was puzzled, he was a fragile looking thing and was barely a foot tall, and he had a long pointy nose that was partly obscured by a ridiculously oversized helmet. Ukld was contemplating the seriousness of the strangers’ threat when another tiny creature appeared from the wilderness.
“Us! You will never defeat us! That’s what you should have said!”
The first creature turned his attention to the second clearly annoyed.
“What?”
The newcomer continued undaunted.
“What you meant to say was 'You will never defeat us, puny scum! Bow down and beg for your life!' This isn’t a singular occasion Arti so make sure you include the rest of us.”
The first creatures face flushed purple with anger.
“That’s what I did say! Will you please stop interrupting me while I’m trying to perform my sacred duty? I’ve sworn oaths you know?”
He turned his attention back to Ukld who had noticed other tiny figures had appeared and had sneakily begun creeping towards him.
“Ahem, now then listen here foul beast! I am Sir Artibul Damelgog and it is my sworn duty to protect these lands from the likes of you and your filthy kind, beg me for mercy and I promise I will cleave off your ugly head with a single swift stroke to your grotesque neck. Resist me and I vow to slice open your belly using only the bluntest edge of my sword! Now what will it be?”
Ukld was already bored of this strange encounter and he knocked the little fellow to the ground with a playful jab and attempted to resume his journey home. He had no quarrel with these creatures, they were tiny insignificant things and would be no match for him, they were all bones and saggy meat, he decided he would not trouble them although he had for a moment considered eating a few. Artibul Damelgog was not impressed with the Unmann’s blatant lack of respect.
“You despicable swine! Get back here and meet your doom this instant! If you do not surrender your head you will leave me with no choice but to administer a severe Ridendean beating upon you and believe me when I say that you will not find it so easy to walk away from that!”
Ukld was starting to get annoyed by the creatures’ taunts now but he stayed true to his judgment, he simply shook his head and continued on his way.
Sir Artibul turned briefly to his companions and gave them a wide eyed grin.
“It seems that there is a coward amongst us good sirs! Either that or a fool! Do you honestly think you can escape from a warrior with as many heroic deeds attached to his name as me? Do you not see when you look upon me that you are outmatched and outclassed? I will crush you under my boot like the insignificant bug that you are!”
Ukld had finally had enough of the creatures goading and he suddenly spun round and lurched towards the creature, he flashed his fangs and snarled. Sir Artibul nodded almost approvingly and clapped his hands together slowly.
“Finally you reveal yourself to me beast; finally we are ready to duel! Prepare yourself for death, trespasser; Good Sirs let us best this beast!”
At that command the creatures approached from all directions and ascended like a swarm toward Ukld. The Unmann swung wildly with his fists and was sure he had killed those he could hit but there were too many of them, they climbed upon one another until they had covered his head and obscured his vision. Then when he was toppled and writhing on the ground they stabbed him repeatedly until he finally stopped struggling and his final drop of life had drained away.
The creatures spent the next few minutes frantically carving away at Ukld’s corpse, when he was fully dismembered and Sir Artibul was completely satisfied they had upheld the honour of Ridendea they vacated the area. All that was left of the once mighty Ukld was a dark sticky stain that tarnished the woodland floor.
